Not My Final Blog | Stephanie Merritt

First and foremost I hope that this is not my final blog for the Alternative Spring Break Program. Thinking about how to wrap up this course with a capstone blog leads me to start at the beginning in 2014 until now 2017. I began the 2017 ASB trip with a simple pre-trip blog that I would like to revisit. In that initial blog I choose to focus on the individuals that I had met along the way on my ASB journey. Now as I look back at those pictures from that blog I see groups of people that have come together to help to create a course at Wichita State University that will not only continue on, but also continue to grow and thrive.

First trip ASB trip 2014 to New Orleans where we worked on hurricane relief clean up.  From this first trip I have developed a life long friendship, someone that I can count on and enjoy a senior trip with.

 From this ASB trip in 2015 to Washington DC, I learned that the importance of voting is a right that I had not been exercising.

From this ASB trip in 2016 to New York City, I learned that places that I thought I would feel unsafe in, I in fact was welcomed as if I was a friend.

 

From this ASB trip in 2017 to Washington DC, where I learned that Patty was still selling papers at the same place as two years before during ASB.

 

            I am not sure how to begin to recap this course and/or experience. What I have gained from these four trips is immeasurable. From the personal experiences to the service learning experiences, what I have gained during these cumulative experiences will remain with me the rest of my life. To say that I am an advocate for this course would be an understatement. I feel that a course of this magnitude should somehow woven in to the basic curriculum of all university campuses, if not with travel on a national level at the very least on the local level. I feel that this course is a capstone course in teaching our younger generations of how not only to make changes in systemic issues but to also care for one another on a global basis.

A course of this type is something that students should want to take for the betterment of their town, city, state, country, and world. What I have learned as well in the ASB program is that I am responsible. I am responsible not only to those around me for the issues at hand but also to those generations that will come after me. I hope to in some manner carry that duty forward from this course. Carry it forward in to my town, city, state, country, and world. I believe that possibly the greatest thing that I will retain from this course is a since of community on a global basis. On a basis that we most all want a better place to live.

I recently applied for the MALS Graduate program at Wichita State University. In that program a student builds their own program and guides their curriculum around a thesis. I plan whole-heartedly to weave one more Alternative Spring Break trip in to my educational journey. I have not really an idea of how this course will incorporate in to my thesis, but I intend to make it work. I intend to attend the Alternative Spring Break trip wherever it may go one more time. Therefore, I this will not be my final blog. ASB I will see you again!

Day 5: Dear Stephanie Dianne | A Letter To Myself

Dear Stephanie,

You know that reflection that you write to yourself. The one where you write a letter about how you feel about a homeless person on Monday when you begin a service trip and then revisit it on Friday and write about how that has changed over the course of the week. Then you write a goal that you hope to obtain over the next month, place the letter in a self-addressed envelope, and someone will mail it to you in a month. Well that is what this letter is about…the American Dream.

When you were 20…you were beginning the journey of having a family: marriage, two children, and striving toward the American Dream.

When you were 30…you sat in a hot tub in the Phoenix desert and told your two dearest and oldest friends: “I am ready to get married and have children. Despite the fact that I already have all that, NOW I am ready”.

When you were 40…you had lived the American Dream. Raised the children, gotten a divorce, felt financial ruin, re-married, joined together and became a blended family. Subsequently changing your American Dream.

This past week you have been in Washington DC working with those that suffer from Hunger, Homelessness, and Poverty. On Monday you worked at Martha’s Table http://marthastable.org, Tuesday was http://www.drewelementary.org, Wednesday was   https://www.foodandfriends.org, and finally on Thursday at http://www.missiondc.org. I ask you with the knowledge that you have from your past, what does your American Dream look like now?

Today was March 24, 2017. I believe that you might have walked more today than any other day in your life. Sixteen point one miles to be exact that was 36,343 steps on your Fit Bit. The day started off early with a walk to the Jefferson Memorial with a group of fellow students from WSU. You arrived early so not many other American Dream seekers were with you yet. Unfortunately the Cherry Blossoms were not as breathtaking this year as usual. Last week nearly 10 inches of snow fell putting a bit of a stall on the blooms. Some had turned brown others had not yet begun to bloom. Next, back to the church to pack up for your return flight home at 6:20 that afternoon. Then off to meet a friend from kindergarten for a quick cup of coffee and finally on the Metro headed to Arlington National Cemetery.

Let me remind you of the AMAZING guided tour that you had while visiting the Robert E. Lee Memorial House. It was a rainy morning so not many American Dream seekers were here yet either. The volunteer that greeted you at the front door was young, early 20’s. You didn’t think to ask her name, but later wished you would have because she was obviously very passionate about the history there. She gave you and four of your cohorts a very detailed tour. You felt very privileged to even get to enter the attic. It was here that you saw the name of a soldier that had written his name on the rafters along with the date of 1862. After the tour, you went to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier to watch the changing of the guard. Always a powerful moment no matter how many times you have experienced it.

By now the sun had come up so you and your friends stopped back by the JFK Eternal Flame. It was 1:10 in the afternoon. The cemetery was beginning to fill up with people. The youngsters that you were with realized that there was time to take the Metro to the National Archives. Right as you reached the fork in the road of the Metro and the walk back to the National Mall you decided to walk and reflect on your week. A much needed walk by yourself, which was exactly what you needed after the emotional week that you had just experienced.

On that walk you reframed what the American Dream means for you and what you hope it to mean for your grandchildren, a dream to sit and be still. While you were at the National Mall that afternoon you sat still and the world buzzed around you. Teach your grandchildren how to do this. Teach your grandchildren to love themselves as they are, not as the photo shopped world of technology portrays them to be. Teach them that the size of their house does not matter, but that it is the size of their heart that is an obtainable American Dream. Teach them to love ALL people despite their race, color, gender, or socioeconomic status. Teach them to set realistic goals in life and to remember that expectations are premeditated resentments. Teach them to love and be loved.

Now having spent this last week as you did, I ask you to set a goal.

When you turn 50 where do you hope to be…I plan to take my own advice…I will be loving myself as is, sitting still with people of all races, colors, genders, and socioeconomic statuses, I will have no expectations and only set realistic goals for myself and others, and I will love and be loved.

I Love You,

Yourself

Day 4: Dear Chase Nicole, My Daughter I Didn’t Know I Wanted | Stephanie

Dear Chase,

So let me just start off by saying “girl you look good”! That’s an inside joke that only you and your daddy will understand!

Here are a few things that I want to share with you about becoming a woman:

• Be you! Don’t look to the world of advertisements, movies, and the Disney princess films that create in you an image that is unattainable. A real woman has curves, flaws, and eventually wrinkles.
• You are going to make mistakes (more than the ones that you already have)! 😉 If you don’t already know this, I will always love you no matter what. If you can’t come to me with those mistakes well then I have not done what the Lord has asked me to do and that is Love You Unconditionally! I got you!
• Go out in the world. Make a difference. You already have the desire to develop equality for ALL people. Use that passion for others that are less fortunate or discriminated against. Stand up for those that cannot stand up for themselves.
• Do what makes you happy! Not what society believes you should become.

Let me tell you about my day today. Today I served in a local men’s shelter in Washington DC. Central Union Mission is a place of hope. Hope for those that need it most. When we arrived Mitchell greeted us. He gave us a tour of the four-story building and also the basement. We went to the 4^th floor first; office space. We then moved on to the 3^rd floor; dorms where those men that had truly found transformation through the Lord were able to move up in the program. Mitchell was a friendly guy! “Amen” he said often. “Amen” to the fact that he had graduated on that floor to the Suite. The Suite was a room for those that were promising leaders. Here Mitchell shared a room with 3 other leaders and they had their own bathroom. Back on the elevator and down to the 2^nd floor we went; the dorms. We had already been on this floor as our group had remade the beds with the clean linens that had been washed from the night before. It was here that men were able to get off the street for the night. On the 1^st floor were the kitchen, the front desk, and a Quiet Room. Then Mitchell took us down to the basement. Another Quiet Room, yet this one had a TV.   A man sat near the washer and dryer, Mitchell joked with the man and said “that is where I started, sitting there just like that”. They both chuckled and cracked up and we moved on, back to the first floor where we returned to the front desk where Mitchell now works as an assistant!

I know sometimes your daddy and I argue over what we think is best for you. I feel it is my job to prepare you for the world. He wants to protect you from it. So in that preparation…I challenge you to make a difference! Make a difference in Mitchell’s life or Patty’s life. Patty, who passed the Street Sense paper to me every morning while I was in DC. Patty, who called me “smiley face” each time see saw me. Make a difference by receiving a hug from Patty and a kiss on the check as you leave the city where she lives!

Chasie…I love you bunches but you already know that. I never gave a second thought to having another child just to have a daughter. Thankfully when I found your daddy he already had you. Thankfully your momma was confident enough to share you with me.

I Love You,

Your Stephmommy

Day 3: Dear Hayden Spencer, My Unexpected Son | Stephanie

Dear Hayden,

I am not sure where to begin when writing a letter to you! Let’s just start from the beginning…I never expected to have another son, but then I met your dad and well you were part of the package. That package brought two little special gifts in to my life. Being part of a blended family is a challenge and I want to compliment you on not only doing it, but also doing it well. You have a tender, kind, and loving heart that is enjoyable to be around.

As I sit here reflecting on this my third day of service work in Washington DC, I am at a coffee shop with windows overlooking the exit of the Metro station at 14^th & G Street. People are coming and going. Many with headphones attached to their iPhones listening to what I am not sure. There are different ages, gender, socioeconomic status, and race. I wonder where they have been and where they are going. I know where you have been and often think about where you are going. As you graduate college and enter the “real” world over the next few years it will be exciting to watch you continue to grow.

Let me tell you a bit about my day. Today we volunteered at a place that I have served before called Food & Friends. As a group we put together over 300 meals. These meals are for those that are referred by their doctor. They are battling different challenges in life: cancer, illness beyond their control, diabetes, amongst others. They will be delivered these meals at no charge right to their door. I believe that you would have enjoyed today. A place like this would flourish with someone that has a heart like yours at the wheels.

As you go out in to that “real” world don’t let it mold you. Please don’t put those headphones in and tune out the world.  It needs you. Be true to your heart and use it to change the lives of others. You have an attractive personality. You are a people person. I believe that the Lord will use you in ways that you do not yet know and I for one look forward to seeing the fruit of His work in you. Who knows, maybe someday you will have the opportunity to serve in Washington DC!

I Love You,

Your Stephmommy

Day 2: Dear Jordan Matthew, My Baby | Stephanie

Dear Jordan,

I know how much you love social media so I just thought I would share this letter with you and the world of Facebook. It is Tuesday evening in Washington DC and we just prepared and served a dinner to the community members that are near the church where we are staying. We served about 35 community members. The menu included: sloppy joes, coleslaw, cornbread, and tossed salad with brownies and ice cream for dessert. Everything was homemade down to the croutons and balsamic vinaigrette dressing.   Before hand we played board games and just chatted about life things in general, the weather, YouTube, Loch Ness Monster, and equality. The couple that sat at my table told us the story of how they met. All of these life experiences coming together for one dinner. What I want to share with you is the passion that the young man I sat with had.

His name was Fang. Fang is 24 and his girlfriend was Ebony. My guess would be that she was give or take a few years the same age. He was quite at first. He even apologized for his being somewhat off standish. He mentioned that he was “just feeling a bit off”. He thought it might be his allergies. I believed him, after all the cherry blossoms have just bloomed here in DC. Eventually, Fang began to talk about the Loch Ness Monster. Then he mentioned Sasquatch. That is when our conversation came alive.

I had recently seen a video that the Live Bald Eagle Cam had captured. I asked Fang if he had seen it. He had not. I immediately got out my phone and pulled up YouTube. We watched the video together of the large figure that moved across the screen far below the eagle’s nest. It didn’t really matter at that moment whether or not the figure was in fact what is believed to be Sasquatch. What did matter is that I had figured out what Fang’s passion was…things that really cause you to think deep.

We began to talk about the bible and things of that nature. Fang’s understanding of creation and spirituality is a passion that I would hope for you. I desire that you live a life with a passion for something. I think that might be something that I failed to create in you as your mom. The importance of a desire to be passionate and you know me it’s never too late to admit my shortcomings. Be passionate, Jordan, even if your passion is Sasquatch. Find a cause, find a purpose, find a passion that allows you to sit at a table with strangers and not be too tired to contribute. Make that connection with the world. Live with an appetite that says “To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world”.

I Love You,

Mom

DAY 1: John Michael, My Oldest | Stephanie

Dear John, 

Here is a letter to you, my oldest son. I woke up this morning in this beautiful city that I have visited a handful of times now. The first time I came to DC you were with me. It was a family vacation: you, me, your little brother, and your dad. That was 15 years ago. Then we were tourists, now I feel I am to immerse myself in this city as a member of our nation. I want to share with you how different this city looks to me now.

I took the city bus in Washington DC this morning. You know that mode of transportation that you have rarely been on!?! As I rode along and watched the world around me I thought of you. The woman sitting next to me had a 19-month old little boy, his name was Michael. Michael is your middle name, which made me see you there with me. I thought of Michael on this city bus with all of his little toddler energy and I noticed that mommy was tired already. The day was just beginning. I thought of the difference in your trip around town and Michael’s trip.

You had a car seat that restrained you from being so active. Michael did not. He was up and down and down and up. It’s been a long time since you were 19 months old, but Michael seemed much like you, just a normal little active boy. Michael threw a grape across the isle. Mommy apologized and tried to pick it up but needless to say it rolled around the bus. I am sure that if you had thrown a grape in the backseat of our car I would have gotten around to picking it up at some point.

I feel that I must apologize to you for not teaching you the sociology of the city bus. You grew up in a city where public transportation is not readily accessible, although it is needed by many of our community members. We were privileged enough to have a car. Well, honestly we had two cars. Eventually you were of driving age and you were privileged to purchase a car. Don’t get me wrong…you worked very hard for that car. Naturally, not long after you got it the transmission went out and you had to have it repaired. I don’t remember the exact amount now but it was expensive, something to the tune of $1400. You worked hard to pay to have it fixed.  Having said that, I am not so sure that car was in fact a privilege for you.

As the bus traveled along I noticed the older children on the bus. Did you know that the school-aged children in DC get to ride the bus and metro system for free? As well they should. These children knew each other. Some gave a high five as they got on, others a casual handshake. These children had some of the same worries and concerns that you did and you each had different apprehensions. I rode along and wondered how different your life would have been if you were to have ridden the city bus?

So here is what I have decided…although you are 29 it is never too late to offer an apology for my failures in your upbringing. I apologize that I did not show you a more diverse world. You have a wonderful, caring heart. You have ALWAYS been wise beyond your years. Although your trials and tribulations are yours, some of those challenges you have overcome do not know race, gender, or socioeconomic status. Use that knowledge to not only grow you but to clear a path for others that come on the trail behind you.

Today I gave a man a pair of shoes. Just as Michael and the older children on the city bus reminded me of you, so did the pair of shoes. The shoes were well worn. I wondered where they had been, but more importantly I wondered where they would go? Please, if I have not told you before…don’t hide from the world…it needs you…get out in it and make a difference.  Your past is yours and who you are…share it!

I Love you,

Mom

ON A JOURNEY | STEPHANIE MERRITT

Well here I go again! Alternative Spring Break trip #4…

Next week I will be serving in our Nation’s Capitol. I would like to not only reflect on the trip that I am about to embark upon, but what I feel might be more important, how I got to where I am at this moment. At this moment right now: I need a bath, I haven’t even begun to pack (heck all of my laundry isn’t even clean yet), I am working on as much homework as possible so that I can take as little of it as possible, blah…blah…blah…what I found now is that none of that is important as the people in my life.

When I think of the past four trips that I have been on I am inclined to think about the individuals I have met along the way.  I wonder often about how their lives are, where they are now.  Not only the people that I was fortunate to serve but also those that I was blessed to serve with and to call friends along the way.  As I sit and reflect I am thankful for the pictures that I took along the way because pictures really are worth a thousand words.

First trip to New Orleans where we worked on hurricane relief clean up.

Robert, who lost his mother and granddaughter during Hurricane Katrina.

This lady that made us little pies and brought them as a thank you…I can’t remember her name now.  😦

Mrs. Dawson in Washington DC.  She still lived in the same house she raised her children in.

Peter, he read his poetry to us.  It should be published.

One of the most insightful days of my life.

I even had time to meet with a beautiful friend while in New York City.

Some of them became trusted friends!

Who will I meet along the way this year!?!

PLEASE JOIN US AND FOLLOW THE JOURNEY ON OUR BLOG!!!

Jesus | Stephanie Merritt

When I am fearful, lonely, and tired, He inspires me to be the best version of myself.

When I am unsure of who I am, He was willing to invest in people others would have dismissed.

When I am concerned with the ways of this world, He cared more about people than about rules and regulations.

When I am concerned about the way the world views me, He was willing to jeopardize Himself personally by breaking the “rules” to help someone in need.

When I am in need of a friend, He is always there for me, even when I have turned my back on him.

He need be my only inspiration!

Service Learning & Reflection | Stephanie Merritt

Service learning goes no further than just learning without reflection. The purpose of service learning is to take part in community service that is taught with meaningful intent. Service learning intends to integrate civic responsibility within an individual through their participation in strengthening communities in which they live and those communities around them. Reflection is an extremely valuable component to this service learning experience.

I have been on three service learning trips prior to this trip to Washington D.C. At first chance reflection seemed difficult and often uncomfortable for me to participate in. Not the group reflection time, that was easy. But the deep personal reflection that was to come about from these trips. The kind of reflection that causes you to look deep within yourself and find yourself in deep meaningful thought, to the point of meditation. I would suppose that often times this reflection lead me to places within myself that are hard to visit. Sometimes being honest with oneself is difficult to do.

The “easy” group reflection that I refer to is vital to creating a sense of team and community within itself. It is fundamental to hear others perspectives on the events of the day. Viewing service learning through the lens of others helps me to have a bigger picture of the world around me. Often times I have sat at group reflection time at the end of the service day and felt humbled by the words of others. The deep inner thoughts that are brought to the surface of our hearts and minds are sometimes raw and emotional. To hear someone share, be honest, and open is a key factor in carrying what one gains through service learning back to their own community.

The personal reflection that I once found difficult, has now become something that I look forward to. I have grown more comfortable with this personal reflection. I can easily find myself reflecting back on any of the previous trips and recalling how they have shaped and molded me in to who I am today. I can look back at a picture and remember the specific feeling that I was enveloped in during that time. Now I can even say that I look forward to pre-trip reflections. As with anything, reflecting on those events that are happening within the service learning trips takes practice. With each subsequent trip the personal reflection is something that I look forward to, as I know that due to those reflections, I will never be the same.